Lup chiong ProfileS: September 2009

Ohhhhhhhhh....................... Enlighten me........ God
Saturday, September 26, 2009
& put your footprints on // 1:03 AM &


Oh well.. feeling so random.. feel like blogging suddenly.

Friends, family, relationship.. Everything is FIRST in your heart. But according to you, relationship is First in first place, family is Second in first place, friends is Third in first place. Somehow, i feel that friend is first in first place.. But at times, you made me feel that i am First in first place.

Today, i feel that the friend had really become first in first place. I would throw aside everything, just to see u and accompany u. If its for you, even if its last minute thing and i have to attend some events or outing with friend, i will push them aside. Because you are the First in my heart.

I am busy lately.. Suddenly got a pact schedule. Work, Love, Family.. I tried my best to think of way to arrange things and de-conflict things.. but its getting no where.. I know i haven't been spending enough time with you this few weeks.. I would really like to spend nice time with you too.. But tml i really got to go in.. Because of how my grandma treat my mom when she is down and how long i have not seen her.. Frankly speaking, I don like to go in either.. so far away................ and its like finally got a weekend after the 5 days work week, can spend time with u already, I got family commitment on.. My parents couldn't give me any confirmation till last minute.. In the end, when i ask them, HOW?, they told me that they are waiting for my response since few days ago.. -_-"

The best way that we can be together this weekend will be you following me to visit my grandma.. but you had already made a pact with your friends a week ago, that you will be attending the gathering. I know that they should be given priority, but to me, i felt that friends can always meet up together.. last week, you say your friend just book out from the army, so you want to see them.. it might be your last meet up with them and wont be seeing them anymore.. Despite how sick you are, you still try to meet up with them. Tomorrow gathering, consists of army friends again.. I know you don like to pang seh your friends.. But visiting of grandma, is once a few months or years thing. and its the best way we can be together through out the weekend.. I feel that friends gathering can be push aside as there will sure be outings being organised again.. hmmmm...

Perhaps............ I am selfish this time.. but i feel that i should be given priority.. I KNOW and i feel that i am at fault too.. shouldn't just pop you this question suddenly and kind of "insist" you to pang seh your friends.. Sorry.. But i feel kind of stress.. sorry for this awful planning.. Work.. Love.. family.. sigh..

You hate my job to the core, but i kinda like it.. i like my uniform.. i like my primary job.. i like the working environment but i hate the working hours and secondary job. Detachment is a new experience for me.. see how operations work and etc.. Its my job.. Management choose me, I go.. I never volunteer for any. The biggest thing i hate about my job, is this thing:"CHANGES". This dynamic workforce always have changes.. and it often make people more of unhappy than happy.. Hate it? also must serve for the next few years till my minimum term is full filled.

Sigh.. This entry is purely my thought.. it has got nothing against you. Sorry if u feel insulted or hurt.. My intention for blogging is because i feel that i have no one to talk to.. so... ya......

Smile even if you're sad.. :)


Never give up...